It's been a year! Can you believe it? Yesterday was the one year anniversary of moving to the good old US of A. It brought a palpable sense of relief that we'd survived 365 days and been through everything once.
The year was that perfect mix of joy and pain. Leaving our family and friends, our lovely home, our delightful community brought feelings of loss which verged on the debilitating. But the Lord is faithful in turning our mourning into dancing! Laughter has followed us here.
The year was the ideal blend of old and new. Repeatedly we've seen God use experiences from the past ten years as preparation for this new context. Wisdom appears to be no respecter of circumstances - it'll hide in all things; it's just up to us to seek it.
The year was an engaging concoction of light and dark. We've been at the raw end of humanity and seen God's transformative grace turn the impossible into the possible.
We are truly thankful.
We have cheerleaders that call back and forth across the Atlantic; we have new (and some not so new!) friends here who hold up our arms and our needs and our dreams; we have food on the table and a cute room over our heads, clothes on our backs and feet fitted with holy and unholey shoes.
Thank-you for advocating for us; pestering the Lord for us; and for loving us as only you can.
We're only who we are because of you.
Saturday, 19 November 2011
Tuesday, 1 November 2011
Saints
The Americans really know how to decorate for the season. Halloween brought 6 foot spiders on fake webs crawling over windows and smiling, carved pumpkins revealing a sinister light on doorsteps. About 4 blocks down our street is what is now known as the Demon House. Severed heads drip from the drain pipes, an empty coffin gawps a hellish orange glow and devilish faces with pursuing eyes repulse or delight passers - depending on their tendencies. I don't find all that terribly helpful to my spirit, mind or body.
Robert E. Webber in "Ancient-Future Time: Forming Spirituality through the Christian Year" suggests that:
'A good antidote to the underworld themes of Halloween is to return to the
real meaning of All Saints' Day - a celebration of the life and witness of God's
people who model a relationship with God for us.' (p175)
I'm inspired to chase after God by those with the determined persistence of Jacob. I'm called to believe in His faithfulness by the existence of the children of Abraham and Sarah. I'm assured of His attention to detail when people testify that like Ruth they 'happen' to find themselves in the kinsman redeemer's field. I delight in His intimacy when people declare, like Zephaniah, that He rejoices over them with singing.
Today I celebrate the saints who still walk the earth and those that are with Jesus. The men and women of faith who've prayed, taught, corrected and wooed me dancing into the family of God. My spirit testifies to the example of you all.
I wonder whose spirit will testify that I modeled for them a relationship with God?
So, on this All Saints Day, celebrate and give thanks for those who have pointed to the Father, been Jesus' hands and feet, and been conduits of the Holy Spirit. And consider why people will celebrate your life and witness.
Robert E. Webber in "Ancient-Future Time: Forming Spirituality through the Christian Year" suggests that:
'A good antidote to the underworld themes of Halloween is to return to the
real meaning of All Saints' Day - a celebration of the life and witness of God's
people who model a relationship with God for us.' (p175)
I'm inspired to chase after God by those with the determined persistence of Jacob. I'm called to believe in His faithfulness by the existence of the children of Abraham and Sarah. I'm assured of His attention to detail when people testify that like Ruth they 'happen' to find themselves in the kinsman redeemer's field. I delight in His intimacy when people declare, like Zephaniah, that He rejoices over them with singing.
Today I celebrate the saints who still walk the earth and those that are with Jesus. The men and women of faith who've prayed, taught, corrected and wooed me dancing into the family of God. My spirit testifies to the example of you all.
I wonder whose spirit will testify that I modeled for them a relationship with God?
So, on this All Saints Day, celebrate and give thanks for those who have pointed to the Father, been Jesus' hands and feet, and been conduits of the Holy Spirit. And consider why people will celebrate your life and witness.
Tuesday, 18 October 2011
Calling
Dear friends, it's been 53 days since my last blogfession.
Special shout-out to Phil who called me as I was - a blogger gone AWOL.
I've felt a little like Elisa Dolittle recently - "Oh, woe, what will become of me". I tried job hunting online yesterday and it wasn't a terribly life-giving experience. In fact I had to go and lie down after it. That can happen when we give another person, organization or institution permission to determine our worth.
And yet ... we need other people to shout out the truth about us when we can't see it in ourselves. The truth that my calling is to be teacher, encourager, listener, truth seeker & revealer, nurturer, worshiper and indiscriminate lover - does not change just because I don't feel it. Nor does it change when I don't walk in it, nor does it go away when I don't believe it. It's like the call is irrevocable. But sometimes I need to be reminded.
Just because I'm not in a classroom doesn't mean I'm not teaching (thanks for that Brandon!). That's the difference between calling and vocation. The calling remains the same, but the vocation where we work-out our calling can change.
In Act 1 of Hamlet, Polonius' gives one last piece of advice to his son Laertes:
This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.
How can we be true to our own selves if we don't know who (not what) we are called to be? Maybe we're going around being really false to ourselves and therefore to everyone else.
Calling is closely linked to desire. Our calling echoes our heartfelt desires. When we walk unashamedly in our unique calling, we open ourselves to multiple opportunities to experience that which we all desire - to repeatedly find ourselves in our sweet spot. All of us who desire to leave an imprint; to be more than flesh, blood and dust; to be people of substance; we need to hear our calling.
So call out the truth to your friends hiding under rocks of shame; trudging wearily with rejection; nursing fractures of uncertainty; shouldering boulders of blame. Call out the beauty, the fragrance, the strength and the vision. And in the echoes of your shouts, listen for your own calling.
Special shout-out to Phil who called me as I was - a blogger gone AWOL.
I've felt a little like Elisa Dolittle recently - "Oh, woe, what will become of me". I tried job hunting online yesterday and it wasn't a terribly life-giving experience. In fact I had to go and lie down after it. That can happen when we give another person, organization or institution permission to determine our worth.
And yet ... we need other people to shout out the truth about us when we can't see it in ourselves. The truth that my calling is to be teacher, encourager, listener, truth seeker & revealer, nurturer, worshiper and indiscriminate lover - does not change just because I don't feel it. Nor does it change when I don't walk in it, nor does it go away when I don't believe it. It's like the call is irrevocable. But sometimes I need to be reminded.
Just because I'm not in a classroom doesn't mean I'm not teaching (thanks for that Brandon!). That's the difference between calling and vocation. The calling remains the same, but the vocation where we work-out our calling can change.
In Act 1 of Hamlet, Polonius' gives one last piece of advice to his son Laertes:
This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.
How can we be true to our own selves if we don't know who (not what) we are called to be? Maybe we're going around being really false to ourselves and therefore to everyone else.
Calling is closely linked to desire. Our calling echoes our heartfelt desires. When we walk unashamedly in our unique calling, we open ourselves to multiple opportunities to experience that which we all desire - to repeatedly find ourselves in our sweet spot. All of us who desire to leave an imprint; to be more than flesh, blood and dust; to be people of substance; we need to hear our calling.
So call out the truth to your friends hiding under rocks of shame; trudging wearily with rejection; nursing fractures of uncertainty; shouldering boulders of blame. Call out the beauty, the fragrance, the strength and the vision. And in the echoes of your shouts, listen for your own calling.
Friday, 26 August 2011
Glue
What holds us together?
This week I experienced my first earthquake - shake, rattle and roll! I was in a basement restaurant, Teaism, having a great conversation about life and love with Sheri Shepherd when the table started shaking, then the floor, then me. Silence. Nobody spoke - we all just looked at each other. Then the lights flickered and we all suddenly realized a basement wasn't the best place to be! As we left the restaurant people were pouring out of the surrounding buildings, cell phone reception was down, sirens careered through the streets and it was every man for himself.
Isn't it weird how you can be surrounded by thousands of people and be utterly alone? As I looked around my fellow Washingtonians I thought, would any of these people save me in an crisis? Would I save them before saving myself? In that moment I just wanted to be with Richard, the man who I know would do anything to save me.
It is amazing how the Lord puts us in families - however that 'family' looks. He puts us with people who love hanging out with us, who get our jokes, who shrug at our idiosyncrasies, who gobble our best and worst dishes, and who miss us when we're gone. This is what holds us together - it's the little dots of glue that shared memories and future dreams create. It's not about seeking out people who have loads of stuff, but those who have open hands and tender hearts; it's not about the physically beautiful but about those who adore us just as we are.
So, what's your sticky glue?
This week I experienced my first earthquake - shake, rattle and roll! I was in a basement restaurant, Teaism, having a great conversation about life and love with Sheri Shepherd when the table started shaking, then the floor, then me. Silence. Nobody spoke - we all just looked at each other. Then the lights flickered and we all suddenly realized a basement wasn't the best place to be! As we left the restaurant people were pouring out of the surrounding buildings, cell phone reception was down, sirens careered through the streets and it was every man for himself.
Isn't it weird how you can be surrounded by thousands of people and be utterly alone? As I looked around my fellow Washingtonians I thought, would any of these people save me in an crisis? Would I save them before saving myself? In that moment I just wanted to be with Richard, the man who I know would do anything to save me.
It is amazing how the Lord puts us in families - however that 'family' looks. He puts us with people who love hanging out with us, who get our jokes, who shrug at our idiosyncrasies, who gobble our best and worst dishes, and who miss us when we're gone. This is what holds us together - it's the little dots of glue that shared memories and future dreams create. It's not about seeking out people who have loads of stuff, but those who have open hands and tender hearts; it's not about the physically beautiful but about those who adore us just as we are.
So, what's your sticky glue?
Friday, 12 August 2011
Return
I'm back. I haven't posted here since April and to be honest I'm back because of the encouragement from my gracious friends and family who told me they missed it! Not terribly sure why I stopped writing, maybe I'd a sub-conscious crisis of confidence or maybe I just kept forgetting! Anyhow .... I've returned.
It has been a month of returning. We took a two week trip to the UK. We frequented old haunts, ate familiar food, hugged lifelong friends, loved on our families. We even got to attend Morning Prayer and Communion at the church where we were married, on the day of our 11th Wedding Anniversary - amazing. It felt like the most natural thing in the world - there was no awkward moments, no prolonged silences, no getting lost. Stepping back into that world was easy, we belonged.
And yet ... we told everyone how amazing our new friends in DC are, how cute our wee house is in Old Town and how everything really is bigger in America! We extolled the virtues of great service and the kindness of the American people; we lamented the bureaucracy and the crazy driving and honking. I guess we've started to belong in America too.
The return flight to the US was different than the flight we took in November 2010 (the food and entertainment on Aer Lingus is way better than Continental!). We were returning to a familiar city, with our own place, and we knew where to buy our groceries. But more importantly, we were returning to a place where we'd been missed.
You know, there's little certainty in this world - economic, social and political unrest coupled with life being life, has seen off any certainty suitors. It's hard to feel grounded, to feel any sense of purpose. But to know another human being wants you to return - that'll keep you going all day long.
So, say a prayer for those you miss and who miss you - it'll help us all stay belonging to each other.
It has been a month of returning. We took a two week trip to the UK. We frequented old haunts, ate familiar food, hugged lifelong friends, loved on our families. We even got to attend Morning Prayer and Communion at the church where we were married, on the day of our 11th Wedding Anniversary - amazing. It felt like the most natural thing in the world - there was no awkward moments, no prolonged silences, no getting lost. Stepping back into that world was easy, we belonged.
And yet ... we told everyone how amazing our new friends in DC are, how cute our wee house is in Old Town and how everything really is bigger in America! We extolled the virtues of great service and the kindness of the American people; we lamented the bureaucracy and the crazy driving and honking. I guess we've started to belong in America too.
The return flight to the US was different than the flight we took in November 2010 (the food and entertainment on Aer Lingus is way better than Continental!). We were returning to a familiar city, with our own place, and we knew where to buy our groceries. But more importantly, we were returning to a place where we'd been missed.
You know, there's little certainty in this world - economic, social and political unrest coupled with life being life, has seen off any certainty suitors. It's hard to feel grounded, to feel any sense of purpose. But to know another human being wants you to return - that'll keep you going all day long.
So, say a prayer for those you miss and who miss you - it'll help us all stay belonging to each other.
Sunday, 10 April 2011
Symphony
Last Friday night I attended a concert at the Austrian Embassy with Richard's Mum and sister, Sarah. For an hour the Mendelssohn Piano Trio took us to Spring in Vienna through an outstanding performance of Haydn, Beethoven and Schubert. It was breathtaking. Together the piano, violin and cello conjured every emotion. At times complementing, at times echoing, at times competing with each other; yet always creating beauty.
And then, the Lord spoke.
"Listen to each note. Hear how it is pure and beautiful in its own right. Now hear how it plays with the other notes - each sure of its place on the staff, not needing to be any other note, just itself. That's how I see my children."
"Now see how each note and each bar and each phrase combine. At times these bring joy and lightness, calm and peace; at times pathos and darkness, distress and unease; but always beauty. It is just like the moments and events of your life. Tonight, you don't fear the mix of those emotions, in fact you're delighting in them, experiencing their beauty. How much more beautiful is your life! Fear not daughter for your life is a symphony! "
And then, the Lord spoke.
"Listen to each note. Hear how it is pure and beautiful in its own right. Now hear how it plays with the other notes - each sure of its place on the staff, not needing to be any other note, just itself. That's how I see my children."
"Now see how each note and each bar and each phrase combine. At times these bring joy and lightness, calm and peace; at times pathos and darkness, distress and unease; but always beauty. It is just like the moments and events of your life. Tonight, you don't fear the mix of those emotions, in fact you're delighting in them, experiencing their beauty. How much more beautiful is your life! Fear not daughter for your life is a symphony! "
A symphony has been defined as an 'elaborate instrumental composition in three or more movements, similar in form to a sonata but written for an orchestra and usually of far grander proportions and more varied elements' (dictionary.com). So there it is. My life with all its ups and downs, was, and is, and will be even more breathtaking than anything written by Mendelssohn, Haydn, Beethoven or Schubert.
So, come Great Composer and write your Symphony that is me ...... hold no note back!
So, come Great Composer and write your Symphony that is me ...... hold no note back!
Sunday, 27 February 2011
Mindful
I was listening to a podcast last week about Mindfulness. The guest speaker was arguing that to minimize stress we need to address where we have our attention rather than our thinking. Now, for a girl who's big into the power of thinking about thinking, that caught my attention!
He suggested that our stress can be relieved by being fully present, with every sense, in every moment. After all, this present breath is the only one we have.
Imagine, being totally present in every moment, paying full attention so we miss nathing (as the Northern Irish would say). Every sense, fully engaged, taking it all in. I started to wonder, how much more would we hear from God if we lived like that? How much more of humanity would we marvel at? How much more would we know about ourselves?
The day after hearing the podcast I got my daily scripture text from a pastor friend in Florida. It was Psalm 8v4 - "What is man that you are mindful of him, the son of man that you care for him?" Now there's a revelation!
The Lord is 'mindful' of us.
It's not that God's over there somewhere and we need to catch His eye; rather His full attention is on us. With every sense He is fully present in every moment, with our every breath. He misses nothing. He is not distracted or tired, apathetic or stressed.
It also means He's not just looking out for us, keeping a wee eye on us. Rather He is 100% rooting for us, paying attention to each uttered cry and plea, each thankful shout and joyful smile.
Be mindful this week and know that you are minded!!
He suggested that our stress can be relieved by being fully present, with every sense, in every moment. After all, this present breath is the only one we have.
Imagine, being totally present in every moment, paying full attention so we miss nathing (as the Northern Irish would say). Every sense, fully engaged, taking it all in. I started to wonder, how much more would we hear from God if we lived like that? How much more of humanity would we marvel at? How much more would we know about ourselves?
The day after hearing the podcast I got my daily scripture text from a pastor friend in Florida. It was Psalm 8v4 - "What is man that you are mindful of him, the son of man that you care for him?" Now there's a revelation!
The Lord is 'mindful' of us.
It's not that God's over there somewhere and we need to catch His eye; rather His full attention is on us. With every sense He is fully present in every moment, with our every breath. He misses nothing. He is not distracted or tired, apathetic or stressed.
It also means He's not just looking out for us, keeping a wee eye on us. Rather He is 100% rooting for us, paying attention to each uttered cry and plea, each thankful shout and joyful smile.
Be mindful this week and know that you are minded!!
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