Love and Marriage: The Gift of Difference

The Beloved and I met at Aberdeen University in 1994 and started dating within the month. I was 21 years old. It won't be long before I'll have lived longer with R in my life than without him. That's cool and kinda scary too.

We were an unlikely pair back then - one of our best friends who knew each of us since 1992 still can't believe we are dating never mind being married for 15 years! I think it's because we are just so different. I'm an extrovert, he's an introvert; I love music and performing, he marches to his own beat; I'm a worrywart, he's a optimist that "It'll be alright". And the list could go on ...

Differences between partners is a good and healthy part of marriage. You need your spouse to tilt the scales back when you give something more weight than it's due. You need your spouse's height to see that mountain for the molehill that it is; you need their history to know that all will be well and all manner of things will be well. I need the Beloved to call me to mercy when judgement pulls at my mind, heart and soul. The differences between us gifts not threats.

There will always be things you'll want to change about your partner but before you go pursuing a renovation remember that they're your other half. You need them to be who they were essentially created to be so you both can be whole and flourish.

So join Billy Joel and sing it loud "I love you just the way you are."

Don't go changing to try and please me
You never let me down before
Don't imagine you're too familiar
And I don't see you anymore

I wouldn't leave you in times of trouble
We never could have come this far
I took the good times; I'll take the bad times
I'll take you just the way you are

Don't go trying some new fashion
Don't change the color of your hair
You always have my unspoken passion
Although I might not seem to care

I don't want clever conversation
I never want to work that hard
I just want someone that I can talk to
I want you just the way you are

I need to know that you will always be
The same old someone that I knew
What will it take till you believe in me
The way that I believe in you?

I said I love you and that's forever
And this I promise from the heart
I could not love you any better
I love you just the way you are

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Lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group