Dear friends, it's been 53 days since my last blogfession.
Special shout-out to Phil who called me as I was - a blogger gone AWOL.
I've felt a little like Elisa Dolittle recently - "Oh, woe, what will become of me". I tried job hunting online yesterday and it wasn't a terribly life-giving experience. In fact I had to go and lie down after it. That can happen when we give another person, organization or institution permission to determine our worth.
And yet ... we need other people to shout out the truth about us when we can't see it in ourselves. The truth that my calling is to be teacher, encourager, listener, truth seeker & revealer, nurturer, worshiper and indiscriminate lover - does not change just because I don't feel it. Nor does it change when I don't walk in it, nor does it go away when I don't believe it. It's like the call is irrevocable. But sometimes I need to be reminded.
Just because I'm not in a classroom doesn't mean I'm not teaching (thanks for that Brandon!). That's the difference between calling and vocation. The calling remains the same, but the vocation where we work-out our calling can change.
In Act 1 of Hamlet, Polonius' gives one last piece of advice to his son Laertes:
This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.
How can we be true to our own selves if we don't know who (not what) we are called to be? Maybe we're going around being really false to ourselves and therefore to everyone else.
Calling is closely linked to desire. Our calling echoes our heartfelt desires. When we walk unashamedly in our unique calling, we open ourselves to multiple opportunities to experience that which we all desire - to repeatedly find ourselves in our sweet spot. All of us who desire to leave an imprint; to be more than flesh, blood and dust; to be people of substance; we need to hear our calling.
So call out the truth to your friends hiding under rocks of shame; trudging wearily with rejection; nursing fractures of uncertainty; shouldering boulders of blame. Call out the beauty, the fragrance, the strength and the vision. And in the echoes of your shouts, listen for your own calling.
