Friends

Last week I had the chance to go to a Q&A with Don Miller and Bob Goff. They encouraged us to be true to who we are and not what society expects of us. You could feel the angst ridden 5 W and 1 H questions popping across the room. What, who, where, when, why and how? Be yourself. Easy to say, hard to find and be.

But perhaps the key was right before us. These two men are working out who they are uniquely meant to be through their tender, generous friendship. They graciously, humbly allowed the 100 odd people in the room a momentary glimpse behind the curtain. The magic they created wasn't born out of the shallow waters of flattery but rose of out the depths of authenticity.

Bob Goff talked of how he would make a terrible 'Don' and how 'Don' would be a rubbish 'Bob'. Nice. Within that paradigm unhealthy comparisons and self-righteous judgements have no air time. Rather there is permission to be true to oneself, to be dramatically different and still know love. That's a pretty good recipe for friendship.

Recently I've been thinking about the concept of accountability in friendship. The idea makes me uncomfortable, it feels so disempowering. All the privilege rests with the other person and my agency is deemed worthy or appropriate by their yardstick. Now I'm not saying we let our friends stick their hand in the proverbial fire without a warning shout; but I wonder what would happen if we moved from holding our friends accountable to holding their hand as we jump into the big sea of being mutually known?

Perhaps a posture of 'calling out' the true-self in our friendships would open up spaces and vistas hidden by the veils of disappointment, demerits and missed expectations. We could then spend our times together talking about our dreams and how we're going to get there. We could devise ways of practicing repentance and seeking forgiveness. We could hold up our friends arms when they're weary, cheer SO loudly when they take off and mourn when they are hurt.

I need my friends to help me find my voice, to illumine my gifts and heal my wounds. I need them to guide me to myself and Jesus. In them I find Emmanuel - God with me, with hands, hugs, lips, laughter and tears. For that I am eternally grateful.

Thank-you Don and Bob for letting the world see your friendship. May we learn to know ourselves better as we cherish our friends.

 
Me and my best friend! Dec 2012

Hidden

It's a bright chilly morning in DC. President Obama is safely inaugerated, the fiscal cliff has been avoided until Spring and the novelty of post-Christmas diets and frugality has worn off. It's not exactly an inspiring time of year.

To escape the wind and feed our souls, The Beloved and I visited the National Portrait Gallery and the Smithsonian American Art Museum.  These two museums encircle the honeycombed roofed Kogod Courtyard - a gathering place for art devourers, city escapees, culture hungry tourists and starlight seeking lovers. Just being there opens space in one's imagination.

We've been to these museums lots of times since moving to DC and so apart from the new exhibitions about Potraits On The Edge and the life of Amelia Earhart  (inspirational stuff!), we assumed we'd the space nailed. A well-known and loved beauty.

Then we wandered through a side door into Narnia. The majestic mosaic grey blue floor of the Luce Foundation Center led us into a Victorianna haven of wrought iron railings and a domed glass roof. What a hidden gem. We'd no idea. Secreted away off the narrow galleried walkways are magical drawers of French miniatures and thin sliced cabinets of icons and portraits. Pieces of the museum's collections currently not on display in the main galleries but just too good not to have on show somewhere!


It's fitting that we found this space on a day that I had gone to there to write; to be infected by other people's stories. There are people I think I've sown up - I know lots about their history and their perspectives, their likes and their challenges. Yet, there's always more. There's always hidden gems of patterned paths, intricate boundaries and treasures just too good to not be on show. If only I'll go through some new doors and be open to being surprised.

I wonder what undiscovered gems lie within us? We're the curators of our own souls - we choose what and where we display our portraits, we decide the form of our icons, and nurture or neglect the gallery space that has been entrusted to us.

Pay attention to those side doors today - you never know what treasures lie waiting for and in you!