Today would have been my Granny's 99th birthday. She passed away in January this year and I miss my chum terribly. I was honored to give the family tribute at her funeral and I thought it fitting to share an extract today in her memory.
"As a good Presbyterian Granny would have appreciated a three point tribute all beginning with the letter 'F'. Family, fun and faith capture the essence of Dora's priorities, passion & perspective. There's three 'Ps' for good measure.
Dora loved her family deeply. The last time we were all together was August 14th, 2014. The occasion was Granny’s 98th birthday party. Our little daughter Miss O, born in December 2013, carries Granny’s name as one of her middle names. We don’t live in Northern Ireland; since 2010 we’ve lived just outside Washington DC. This birthday party was the first time the two Doras met.
Miss O was only eight months old and four generations after Granny, but she knew her. They grasped hands immediately & the instant smile and quick laughter between them made me and everyone else in the room weep. You see Dora means “God’s Gift” and that day two precious gifts in our lives found each other.
Scripture says God places the lonely in families. He doesn’t place us in communes or congregations; neighborhoods or networks. Families. And us humans, we’re all lonely in some way. I wonder if that fracture is in us so that we will long for each other. Part of my lonely ache was eased by Granny for all of my 41 years. Granny saw our faults, our brokenness; just as we saw hers. But through her love we experienced the tender mercies of God that come to us only in our families.
Dora was always quick to smile and laugh! She'd a brilliant sense of humor and loved a bit of banter. That characterized her relationship with my late father, Roy, whom she adored; and it marked her friendship with my husband Richard. Each Sunday night as Richard helped Granny down Mum's steps into our car he would make some quip like 'you mind yourself this week, I don't have time to be coming to visit you' - Granny would thump him playfully on the arm or threaten him with her stick, the whole while having a glint in her eye reflecting her love for Richard & for the craic.
Old time dancing brought Dora great joy. Waltzing round Blackpool Ballroom or dancehalls all over Belfast, Granny loved to dance. That's one thing I know she's doing now - no longer constrained by her dodgey knee and aged bones. Dora also loved to sing - whether it was hymns in church or accompanying Songs of Praise, or decked in a pink feather boa at a singalong in Lisadian. She found pleasure in the simple things. She loved cream buns and old movies in which people were "lovely wee stars". She loved roast chicken dinners; keeping her Christmas gifts half-wrapped on her spare room bed; and just a wee half cup of tea.
Granny was the spiritual matriarch of our family. I'm certain that by her faithful intercessions she has prayed all of us into the family of faith. Her deep trust in the promises of God the Father; her intimate knowing of Jesus the Son; and her assured comfort and presence of the Holy Spirit, moulded her whole life.
Psalms 111 and 139 are a beautiful reflection of Dora’s faith. She worshiped in church every Sunday and always listened to the "service" on the wireless. She studied “the works of the Lord,” delighting to daily read her bible and pray; and she had first hand experience of God’s wonderful deeds and provision in her life. Granny’s wisdom, strength and patient, quiet waiting, all emanated from her knowing that the Lord is faithful, good, and trustworthy. Dora knew God and had no doubt that He knew and loved her.
We used to go to Granny’s house for dinner on a Saturday evening and often our conversation would turn to matters of faith. One week Mum, myself, Granny, her two sisters-in-law, Georgie and Agnes; and her brother-in-law, Jim, were sat round Granny’s table; someone asked the question, “What will heaven be like?” A variety of ideas swirled around the table, all half-formed and mostly guess work. Then Dora spoke. “I don’t care what it’s like” she said, “as long as I’m with my Billy.” You see Granny understood death not as the end or even the beginning, but rather as a continuation. Heaven for her is the place where there would be no more sorrow or loss or separation. It is the fulfillment of all things promised and wholeness of joy and peace. You see Dora now, is Home."
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