We gathered around our well-loved table, pulling Miss O's highchair in tight so she wouldn't miss anything. As we were one chair short The Beloved perched on the little red ottoman making him resemble a hobbit. The spread was simple family style: sliced white crusty loaf nestled in a Provencal basket; four sheep cheeses met their end on a wooden board; a caprese salad with colorful heirloom tomatoes bathed in olive oil and balsamic; a platter of meats and a bowl of olives. Tasty, simple, pure.
Normal service had been resumed in our new home. Close friends feasting at the kitchen table.
The Church of Ireland marriage service liturgy states:
"In marriage husband and wife begin a new life together in the community."
It doesn't suggest that perhaps, maybe it might be a good idea for you to think about who you are going to walk out this marriage with. It doesn't hint that it's not great for any couple to be an island. It doesn't propose that you might possibly need others to keep you sane, faithful, married. Husband and wife begin their new married life in the community with other people. Period.
Over the last 15 years we have found that we need community around us for our marriage to flourish and at times, to simply survive. We have friends that we both know and I have (need) my friends and The Beloved needs his. We have friends who are single, married, widowed or divorced; friendships that span over 20 years and new ones that are months old.
We are blessed with soul mates; people who have been with us in the trenches and on the mountain tops. I'm not sure we deliberately chose those people. They're all very different from us and each other. Maybe that's why it works! It's not about comparisons, competitions or corrections - we're each others cheerleaders, coaches and cup bearers. As our friends love me and my family they woo me to keep going and to love more.
Thank-you dear friends ... you know who you are!
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